The Walmart Checkout Line Song

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You see clothes that fit too tight
Pajamas with cowboy boots
Big bellies & behinds
Showing their tattoos
Some make friends while waiting
Some get in a fight
There’s always time for drama
In the Wal-Mart checkout line

Chorus 1: Thirty lanes in every store
They only open three

An angry line is wrapped around
The carts of socks and cheese
People don’t speak English
Many come here fried
I’ve spent over half my life in the Walmart checkout line

Flipping through tabloid papers
While a baby somewhere screams
There’s 400 items, on the cart in front of me
Of all the three lanes open
They’re 20 items or less
Forty people in one damn lane
And our cashier just left

Thirty lanes in every store
They only open three
An angry line is wrapped around
Carts of bread and flat screens
A kid is somewhere screaming
I’m about to lose my mind
I feel like a hostage in the Walmart checkout line

Chorus break

Ice cream’s melting on my lingerie
My pizza’s done thawed out
The cashier always mashes my bread
My lettuce is turning brown
I think I need a discount
Or get paid for my time
To stand in line with drunks & nuts, in the Walmart checkout line

Thirty lanes in every store
They only open three
An angry line is wrapped around
The beer & toilet seats
A new lane finally opened
And someone passed me blind
I think I’m gonna kill someone in the Walmart checkout line
Think my bladder’s gonna burst
Walked out & left my cart
There’s only one place worse than hell, the Walmart checkout line